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HELLO WORLD

So, why am I here? I am here to represent the under represented population of young empty nesters. I am 33 years old, with a handsome 18 year old son who’ll venture out into the world on his own in a very short time. Starting this blog is a way for me to build my own life. There was so much that needs to be expressed in this season and I’m here to share my views. This blog will be meant to help others who may be going through early empty nest. I knew this day was coming but I didn't think it would be this emotion. As a young mother you want your freedom back, you nurture them to become independent and stable adults but you never really consider what it would be like when they actually leave your nest. My son will be transition into his making his own adult life. Blogging seemed like a great way for me to build something for myself and establish my own mark on the world. This process is hard. I will share how I feel because others can only empathize and not truly understand u...
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Recent posts

Dues are paid in full!

 Happy New Year! I know it has been a long while. Life has been such a whirlwind and it took me for a wild, yet wonderful ride.  There have been ups and downs that enabled me to grow as a woman.           My thoughts are forever flowing with vivid memories but this particular post is not really about parenting. This one is more so for those who may have been seen as the underdog due the decisions that they made early on in life. I was an underdog, a statistic. When I became pregnant it was a shock to everyone, even me. Some people were loving and supportive, while others were judgemental and down right mean, not only to me, but my parents. I developed this complex, that I never realized I had. I thought that I had to prove myself successful to those who looked down on me.   I needed them to see  they were wrong.  I was determined to show them that my life was not over.  In order for me to do this, I knew I needed a plan. S...
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Lessons

  Hello! It’s been a long while since I’ve written but lots have happened. There are so many lessons that life teachers us. We often do not know that they are lessons until we are licking our wounds caused by this lesson.  I’m a strong believer in God and spirituality. There are battles being fought in the spaces beyond what  we can not physically see. However, as these battles are being fought we are advised to use intuition or discernment to identify what’s not a positive part of our life’s journey. It is in the middle of those spaces that we learn our lessons. It is in those spaces we have encounters with others. It is in those spaces that we begin to walk another course that being a lesson in which we will pass or have to repeat the test at the culmination of that path. With that being said I’ve learned that it’s ok to let people go. I have always struggled with letting go or leaving people where they are after they’ve mistreated me or we’ve grown apart. I guess that’...
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Letters to My Younger self: 15 years old

 Dear Racquel I want to tell you, I love you! you are beautiful, intelligent, kind, loving and strong. The level of intelligence you possess will be your foundation as you grow into a young woman. I need you to take your health seriously, you only have one body, take care of it. Eat better, exercise more and take time to let go of the hurt. BE KIND TO YOURSELF!  This is a very difficult time in your life.  Gabriel is 6 months old, your world is different and you have no clue what to do. You are only 15 years old, most adults couldn't have handled such stress. You felt lonely and abandoned by so many but you must remain strong. Do not take it personal. They are growing too. All the trauma you have endured scarred you and you developed an angry demeanor.  It is ok to be angry and you will realize that it will not benefit you to stay angry.   There are rivers of emotions that you will have to sojourn tirelessly through, alone and you will make it. Yes, your pa...
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Empty Dating Dilemma: Part 2

I hope you were able to read part 1. I made every attempt to not slander the gentlemen who I made mention of. My purpose is to bring light to the various test and trials that we, well I, myself, an non-typical emptynester has experienced as a single woman.  I know I am not alone. I know that these are all apart of the dating experience but damn, lets face it, these scenarios are discouraging and depressing. It can be so difficult to maintain a positive attitude when you are alone. Friends do not always understand. They do not always lend caring words because they honestly cannot. It is not necessarily a reflection of who they are as a person however, it still leaves a void left to be filled. Sometimes, the evil negativity monster creeps into my head.  This monster makes every attempt to wreak havoc in my mind. Making me think I am the issue in these situations or even to question my worth. When these moments arise I have to shoot that monster dead. I shoot it with gratitude. I...
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Empty Dating dilemma: Part 1

  It's been a while. I haven't posted anything in sometime.  In all transparency, sometimes I am not sure where to go with my ideas. I'm a chronic overthinker. My mind is always racing and moving.  I often have so much to say and no where constructive to offload it. The ideas that I have, the things I have to say are unique. However, there are many ideas that someone out there that will connect with and use my transparent reflections as a comfort in their own time of need. Navigating empty nester life, dating and balancing my own plethora of feelings that flood me from time to time can be difficult. If I happen to touch one person, one mind, one heart, I'd be satisfied.  Source: Facebook/ Ilovethebible Now, storytime!  In this particular post I just want to chronicle some of my dating experiences as an emptynester. You would think because I'm young, my son is over the age of 18,  some men would find that appealing. You would think they would want someone ...
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All the Ships life has to offer

  Whom ever invented the first ship must have been truly trying to figure out a way to see new places. They wanted to discover new lands and see different people. When I think of sailing, I think of space, time, rough patches, beautiful scenery, and maintenance.   Let me explain, each one of the ideas that I have mentioned can be paralleled to people relationships and the different stages and seasons that they encounter. Some ships weather the storms and rough seas to see the clear blue skies once the storm has passed.   Some ships you need space for all parties to survive while the other get stronger over time. Not all ships float. Some cannot withstand the dry seasons. Relationships do sink and it is hard to jump ship when you are the captain. You want to go down with the ship, even if it is not in your best interest.   I have experienced several rough patches in my relationships. Not just with men, but friends, my son, my brother and even my parents. Some ships ...
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Trauma: Having courage to face it when you have no choice

photo credit:  https://www.lovepanky.com/my-life/better-life/i-need-a-hug It took me awhile to write this post. I knew it had to be done but I was honestly in fear of the  judgement that can be accompanied by such truths as I will lay before you today. People tend to judge before they actually take the time to truly understand a situation.  The idea that I had a child young outsiders think I was fast and loose, although I was experiencing adult activities, in no way did I go looking for what eventually happened to me. Most of what I am writing here are things I've only uttered to my best friend and have kept to myself for many years. As I’ve grown into an adult, I’ve learned that transparency is key. I make all attempts to be as transparent as possible. My friends know me as being transparent and that's one thing that they love about me. Even as a teen mom I realized it was best for me to be honest with my son about life matters. I try my best to be transparent wit...
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