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All the Ships life has to offer


 

Whom ever invented the first ship must have been truly trying to figure out a way to see new places. They wanted to discover new lands and see different people. When I think of sailing, I think of space, time, rough patches, beautiful scenery, and maintenance.  Let me explain, each one of the ideas that I have mentioned can be paralleled to people relationships and the different stages and seasons that they encounter. Some ships weather the storms and rough seas to see the clear blue skies once the storm has passed.  Some ships you need space for all parties to survive while the other get stronger over time. Not all ships float. Some cannot withstand the dry seasons. Relationships do sink and it is hard to jump ship when you are the captain. You want to go down with the ship, even if it is not in your best interest.  I have experienced several rough patches in my relationships. Not just with men, but friends, my son, my brother and even my parents. Some ships left me stranded on a desert island searching for water. I was so lost and yearning for more while others , even in stormy weather have survived and I’ve never been more proud of the discoveries made on this journey.


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 I never truly understood what a healthy relationship looked like until I hit my late 20’s. I didn’t understand the concept of boundaries either. You should be able express yourself respectfully and not have it destroy the friendships. Both parties should know how to communicate. When people see how close my son and I are they do not know the struggle that came with it. He wasn’t a talker and he’s not much of one now, especially when it came to his feelings. There were so many instances where I had to be just as suborn and beg him to talk to me. It was through my relationships with other “boy “moms who were older that I was able to find a balance where my son wasn’t scared of me but respected me enough to be honest with me. This took time and patience. I’m blessed to say prayer helped too. I prayed and still pray for him daily. This world scares me. I’m afraid someone will hurt him the way I’ve been hurt, or he will be a degenerate to someone who doesn’t deserve it. I’ve used my experiences to guide my son and our relationship. There have been times I’ve felt so alone in a world where I had friends. I felt they did not see me, the real me. The funny, sensitive weirdo I am. I love that part of me and was not sure if that was ever truly seen. I still struggle with relationships in my 30’s. I know this stems from things in my childhood, throughout my teen years and so on. One thing I can say is I have learned to not have expectations for anyone but myself, consistency is key and love within my boundaries.


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