What’s a hobby anyway?

1. 
   

   How many of us really have hobbies and participate in them faithfully? I didn’t realize the importance of having a hobby in my adult life until I was forced into finding one or two. When my son left for basic training, I had no idea what to do with myself. I had never really had a hobby. In my head, a hobby was definitely different than what the dictionary definition states. A hobby is not hanging out with your friends, going to church, scrolling through social media or watching mindless YouTube videos. Hobbies aren’t things that you do as part of a monotonous routine, they aren’t bothersome or tedious. 

   
   These activities are considered ones that you enjoy to do in your free time. The hobby, whatever it is, brings you happiness. It fulfills a space that may have been empty for you, it fills a special part of your soul. It never dawned on me that I never had that, that I had never had a passion for something that would fulfill me and make me happy that I did just for me. Something that took place outside of being a mother. As mothers, especially single mothers, it’s hard to find time to use the bathroom much less have a hobby. A hobby that’s not taking care of your children? Ha! That’s ludicrous. As crazy as it sounds, it can be possible. I was so wrapped up in survival as a young mom, I never took a minute to find out what I liked to do and stick with it. Yea, I used to take singing lessons courtesy of my parents but as pregnancy kicked my adolescent door down, those activities went out the window. I would’ve expected anything less because now my sons well being became paramount.
   
   Now, fast forward 18 years later and I am  alone and not technically responsible for another human being for the first time since I was 15!  Most of my friends have small children. I was the only one without a 10 year old or younger or even a 11 year old and up. My son was 18. He’s legal. He's an adult. My days of having to find a babysitter were now gone. I can get up and go as I please. I can come home when I felt like it. I could even have company when I felt like it. This was so strange for me. I was like a fish out of water. Totally out of my element. Imagine being thrown into a classroom with no Lesson plan. No formal teacher training and being told, here teach these kids physics. Really?! I am very sure you would want to run from that room faster than Usain Bolt.
   
   Get the visual?
   
   That's how I felt. So I had to find different things to do that suit my preferences.It was like I was thrown into some sort of Twilight Zone. Actually, it could’ve almost been compared to a disastrous episode of naked and afraid;I was left to fend for myself. I had no clue that having a hobby would be such a task but a necessary one. I always had a love for Dancing. However, I  never thought of doing it as a hobby. Until I had various conversations  with a few friends and they pointed out that with my new found freedom, I was already going out and dancing up a storm at the local lounge and restaurant; I’ll save that story for another post. Considering the conversations, and the opportunity to dance in the West Indian day parade in Brooklyn, in September 2019 before my son left. This was interesting, I decided to audition with a band based on the encouragement of a few close friends. I had never danced choreography before, let alone in front of thousands of people. This is where my journey essentially began but I didn’t realize it.
   

   

   
   
   This love of dance translated into a hobby, which I now truly enjoy. Taking classes and feeling free. The music fills my soul, the movement pushes me to different levels. When I hear the melodies and heavy rhythms it’s hard not to move. Finding what sends you into a euphoric state consistently is what a hobby should be described as.  The world tells you that you can’t be a mom and have the time for hobbies. You can, even if it’s just one. It’s better to have them in place before your children are all grown up so you won’t feel lost like I did.