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I have to come to terms with what?

Alone.
         Time.


  1. Are the aforementioned words two separate ideas? 
  1. Or are they a conjunction of two ideas that are often considered to be completely related?


To me, the word ALONE, is often connected to negativity. Previously, the idea of being alone radiated a negative connotation for me. I have come to find out that I was not the only one that felt that way. Being alone, can hold you captive in you own thoughts as you muddle through what society tells you about where you should be at a particular time in your life. We are told that to be alone or single is a bad thing, something must be wrong with you if you are alone. On the contrary, you could be in a whole relationship and still feel alone. Guess what Ive been there too! So, ideally, the perception of alone, is relative but the perceptions, share the same feelings.

When you go to various functions, and people are there with their significant other or someone they may be dating-in that moment. It can be a killer to those who have not come to terms with the idea that, it is ok, to be alone.  This can be amplified for a single empty nester. For myself, my son was my go to companion when I was no longer in a relationship. He was always delighted to come with me. I appreciated this gesture very much. Even as a teen, he would attend these events and he was older than most of the other children there. However, he maintained his innocence and did not act like he was bored out of his mind. So when he graduated highschool and was set to leave for basic training, It was hard for me to understand the concept of alone time and it being ok. It was hard for me to come to terms with the idea that you need to be alone with yourself and  Why? I was never truly alone. I was always in service to my son. Yes, I had help but my son was my priority.

I never truly had to mentally prepare for the fact that an empty house means I'll be alone with my thoughts. It took time for me to build a life of my own. First, I had to come to terms with the fact that I had no hobbies and nothing that I took joy in, that was just for me and did not include my son. Thus my journey began. I took my first solo trip and then I started this blog to bring light to the joys and struggles of the single empty nester. Over the course of a few months I found different things to call my own. Fostering my love of dance by taking classes and building my confidence and stamina. I am by no means a dancer, but it brings me joy. Mentally, I did struggle at times, worrying about my son, worrying about how my life would turnout being single at my age. I want more children, I want to experience love again but I had to experience this alone time to become a better me. So, when my boaz and I finally meet, I would have mended the broken pieces of myself, that I did not have time to mend because I was busy trying to make sure my son had all his needs met. I am grateful for the alone time now, it is my peace.  Do not rush through your alone time, I was told this time was coming  but I did not fathom it being so hard. One takeaway is that alone time leads to growth.


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